Addiction causes turbulence in the Family. A study proves that a couple dealing with addiction have four times the risk of divorce than those who don’t. The damage that people cause due to addiction is major and beyond repair. No matter how hard you try, your partner wants to call it quits because for them it might be impossible to forgive or trust you again.
It’s important to realize that you can’t expect to get back the same relationship you had prior to your addiction – after all, there’s no changing what’s happened or forgetting the hurt and anger. You can create a new marriage, however, that’s based on mutual support and respect, solid communication and trust – but doing so will take time and effort on both your parts. Similarly, chances are good that you’ll need to work on any unresolved issues and problems your relationship had prior to your addiction.
Each day of recovery is one more brick in the foundation of a new reliability that the family will come to trust and believe in. Each day sober speaks louder than a thousand promises.
– Lara Okoloko
Steps to regain trust.
1. Make up for the damage created
It’s hard to admit when you’ve said or done something wrong or hurtful. But acknowledging the truth of what you said or did shows that you are growing as a person. Your loved one sees that you are taking the steps to becoming a better version on you and helps restore their trust.
2. Honesty is the best policy.
When in addiction, there would have been no lie that you would not have said to get what you wanted. Even as you’re dealing with trying to trust yourself, your partner is working on trusting you again, too. Initially, it may seem difficult, if not impossible, for trust, respect and love to be re-established. It might help to create a system that works for both of you and agree to honor it.
3. Self Forgiveness
As you work towards reconciling with your spouse and creating a new, happier and healthier marriage or relationship, don’t forget yourself. Make sure you each take the time to indulge your own interests and take time alone to do what makes you happiest. If either partner wants to participate in individual counseling, the other should support that decision. Some people in your life may find they’re not able to let past transgressions go, and that’s something you cannot change. But you can work on unburdening yourself of the guilt, shame and regret over your past deeds.
4.Take accountability for your actions
It’s hard to admit when you’ve said or done something wrong or hurtful. But acknowledging the truth of what you said or did shows that you are growing as a person. Your loved one sees that you are taking the steps to becoming a better version on you and helps restore their trust. You can also use writing as a way to communicate with your spouse. If you’re finding it tough to talk through what you want to say, you’re definitely not alone. After months or even years of emotional pain, frustration and rage, as well as lying and hiding, it can be very difficult to switch gears and become open and communicative almost overnight. If talking about tough issues is too hard at first, write it down in a letter. Once the two of you have begun communicating through letters for a while, it should become easier to have face-to-face discussions.
5. Patience is the key
You know you’re changing, but they might be cautious. Understand that your loved one has gone through a lot for a long time. He or she needs time to build trust. Showing empathy (putting yourself in their shoes) and patience goes a long way and helps you as well. Involving your spouse in the process to some extent can also be helpful for your marriage. As mentioned above, consider including some couples therapy sessions so you can start rebuilding your relationship as you learn to live sober.Contact us for guidance in recovery. Your privacy is our priority.
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How To Rebuild Trust In Addiction Recovery was last modified: July 20th, 2017 by